The progression of a friendship can go one of two ways. Either you will bond and become close friends that share everything and no matter what happens in your life you two will still try to stay in contact and be involved in each other’s lives or you will become close friends and gradually as the years go by slowly start separating until, without you even realizing, you no longer talk.
Most of my friendships ended up the second way. I could point fingers for why they ended like that but, what’s the point? People grow up, start their own lives, and things change.
As you get older you start careers, have babies, get married, and move. I mean this is a fact of life. Sometimes you might not have babies or maybe you don’t get married but things change, the older you get, that separate you from people you once called friends. I know this, yet at the same time I didn’t think it would happen to my group of friends.
I mean there was a group of around 7-10 of us that were inseparable throughout high school and community college. I was a freshman while the rest were mostly juniors and seniors but, it didn’t matter. We would ride to school together, had classes together, got food on lunch break together, and cruise around like typical high school kids after school. I mean we hung out from the time I left my house in the morning until my curfew at night.
Almost every memory I have of high school involves these people. Even when they graduated and started community college we made time to hang out. The ones that stayed in town and commuted to college still hung out together all day/night and the ones that moved for college still invited us to stay at their place and hang out all weekend. There was this unbreakable bond between all of us. Until the bond started to rust and pieces began to flake off.
I remember it slowly starting right before I was to move for college and it was never the same after that. I left and maybe it’s because I left that its never felt the same for me. I was gone for almost 4 years. I visited and two or three visited me but, it wasn’t the same. Then gradually there wasn’t anymore text messages, phone calls, or Facebook photos to tag. Slowly other people started taking over the group and new friendships were formed.
I guess it’s all part of growing up but, I thought once I moved back for my new job things would change and the friendships would gradually become stronger again. It didn’t end up that way though. I guess I grew up and changed more than the people I once called friends had. I still like to go out and have fun but, I have responsibilities that keep me from hanging our throughout the week and most of them can’t understand that. I’ve grown up and moved away and yet they are still doing the same thing they were when I left almost four years ago.
Don’t get me wrong though not everyone is doing the same thing there were plenty of marriages and births. It’s just that I never realized how much the bond had rusted until I moved back.
I’m leaving for Macedonia for two years and I’ve been thinking about having a going away party to say goodbye to all of those friends. Yet, the more I think about it the more I think what’s the point. None of these people even talk to me anymore and they have their own lives and new friends.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not sitting here weeping about it. I’ve made new friends who I’ll miss when I leave and that will miss me and I understand that people grow apart and all that jazz. I guess since I’m leaving for two years it has just made me contemplate my relationships and life a little more than usual. It has made me reminisce on everything that used to be and how much has changed.
Have you ever had friendships you thought would last a lifetime? Have they lasted or have they crumbled like mine? If so, do you know why?