This post slightly goes along with my post about Last Days of Teaching. At least in the sense that someone may perceive you one way and they could be completely and utterly wrong. Come on, I know you all have had someone think one way about you when you are the complete opposite.
For example, I apparently come off as (excuse the language but I’m a sailor in person) a bitch and stuck up. Trust me I’m nothing of the sort…ok I can be a bitch but definitely not when I first meet someone. Everyone has this perception of me because I’m so shy and I have extreme social anxiety. Until I get used to someone and am around them enough I’m stuck in my head with anxiety trying to figure out what to say or how to act. So, you see what people perceive isn’t always true. Which, leads us into this.
My ten year high school reunion is coming up soon, I guess not extremely soon because its in a year and a half, but that’s soon enough for me. To be honest I’m not sure if I will even go or if I’ll be able to go (I might be in Europe still). Most of the people that were my friends were a different grade level than me and wouldn’t be at the reunion. The few people I was friends with in my class I already keep in touch with. Then there is my actual classmates.
How do I even go about explaining them? I was best friends with most of them throughout grade school and junior high. There wasn’t a lot of cliques actually there was only two the popular group and the unpopular group. Then high school came and I “changed” as they say. Don’t get me wrong I did change but so did everyone.
Once I got in high school all of the “popular” kids in my class I had been friends with for years dropped me. Yet, I wasn’t in the “unpopular” crowd. That’s when I found the invisible crowd. The crowd that wasn’t popular and wasn’t unpopular. The group of us that played sports and liked weird things that weren’t “cool”. It didn’t crush me because I had already started making new friends in the upperclassmen.
That’s when I started hearing the rumors and talking behind my back. They talked about how all I did was party, I was a slut, a whore, a bitch, I was going to get pregnant before high school ended, how I wouldn’t make anything of my life, and I even had my crush of like 10 years tell me that he had started to like me when we started high school but I was gross now because of the people I hung out with and the things I did.
Don’t get me wrong I did party a lot, I had sex a lot, I skipped school, I stayed out late, I lied to my parents, and basically was your poster child for a good kid gone bad. Here’s the thing though I still played sports (volleyball & softball), I still got good grades (A’s & B’s), and I had plans for my life (going to Lake Land & then SIU). But, I wasn’t living life the way they thought it should be lived and I was brought down for it.
Those kids perceived me as the bad party girl who wouldn’t amount to anything. They didn’t try to even look past the cover. How would they know that my home life wasn’t great, how would they know about the anxiety I had, and how would they have known about anything I was going through because all they did was judge.
What’s funny is those same girls who called me a whore/slut and said I would get pregnant before the end of high school were the actual ones who got pregnant before we graduated or immediately after we graduated. Those same people who said I wouldn’t amount to anything have dead end jobs and didn’t go to college or at least didn’t finish college. (Now to be completely honest not all of them fit into those categories of what they said about me came true for them but, a good number do. )
Now that I’ve finally gotten my degree, started my career, and even made it into the Peace Corps and will be leaving in September I slightly want to go to the reunion. Not to walk around bragging but to have those people ask me what I’m up to and to be able to think, “Well, I haven’t been pregnant, I graduated 2 colleges, I have a career, I’m going to be living in Europe for two years and I’m apparently not the bitchy pregnant slut who wouldn’t go anywhere in life like you thought” I would never say that though. I just want to be able to show them that no matter what you think about a person you don’t know the full story or where that person will end up.
I guess all I’m trying to say is that the people that you have this perception of might not even fit the slightest into it. You don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors and you don’t know what the future holds for anyone. So, instead of judging we should worry about ourselves and if we do talk about someone else try to keep it nice or don’t talk about them at all. It’s a pretty simple concept we were taught while we were young “If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all”.
Well, that’s it for this long winded post about perceptions and judging. Hopefully you made it through it.
Has someone ever made a misconceived perception about you before?
Have a great day fellow bloggers.