Memories

The ever present memories that float through your head of childhood and teenage years and young adulthood. The memories that for everyone are different some good and some bad. The ever present memories that chase you through adulthood never letting go. The ones that, while still young you thought would always be with you fading slowly into the background as new ones are created. The ever present memories that chase you through adulthood never letting go. The ones that, while still young you thought you could manage to hide from yourself or at least forget.

Your memories are never what you want them to be. The ones that you cherish during the moment they are happening in your youth slowly start to lose their color and fade away. Finally you’re grasping at them as they are slipping through your fingers like smoke. Like the one of you and your first love. You know the one I’m talking about. He’s sitting in his car outside your house with the lights off. You’re laying down in the front seat with your head on his lap, his arm across your shoulders, playing with your hair. You used to remember the song that you were listening to that one time. Now you just remember both of you hearing a car horn honk a funny tune and there was no cars around but his. You remember talking for hours past your curfew just sitting there in front of your house talking until your father came outside yelling your name but you can’t remember what you talked about. You used to remember. You remember that sweet electrical current that ran through you every time he touched you and kissed you . Now you just remember it you can’t remember how it really felt because you haven’t felt it since.

How can it be that the good memories fade slowly away becoming harder and harder to remember as the memories you’d rather forget become clearer and clearer? How is it that you ended up here, at 24, seeing his wife and kids and regretting everything you did that led to the eventual demise of what was once so precious between you. How is it that you ended up here, at 24, still regretting the fateful night in 2006 that holds its ugly head over you. Life they say. Life is how you ended up hear with a handful of good memories slowly fading away while the overflowing bad memories creep slowly into your brain gaining vibrancy as they move to the front and you just keep pushing them back.

Making new memories that you aren’t sure will last and trying to scoop them up and save them by taking photos, posting on facebook-twitter-instagram-etc, recording moments, and writing blogs. Pretty soon though the memories of those times are just of the moments you tried to save.

Memories. You can’t escape them, you can’t hold onto them, you can’t keep them forever, and eventually they’ll end up like smoke slipping through your fingers. Disappearing into the wind to not be seen again by anyone except maybe just maybe the one person that could remember those times in the same way you do. The one person or two people or however many that were there in those moments. You talk about them together remembering different sections and try to fit them together like a puzzle. Memories.

 

Advertisements

Everything’s Not Bigger in Texas

Hello and happy Monday cyberspace nerds (if you’re offended then probably not the blog for you). Normally today I would be publishing a new post all about some great adventure I had on Sunday. Sadly my weekend was chock full of everything except an adventure.

I’m going out of state this coming up weekend so we’ve been trying to get everything ready for that and figure out if my puppy can go with. Then on top of that I had graduation and honors night for the school I work at. But wait….don’t you work at two schools Ciara? Why yes, yes I do. That means I had to go to two of everything.  So, instead I’m going to leave you with this post all about Texas and later today a post about the award I was nominated for. I hope you enjoy.

Everything is definitely not bigger in Texas contrary to popular belief. I have a lot of family that live in the Houston area (some of them might be bigger lol). By a lot of family I mean I have 5 uncles, 1 aunt, and over 10 cousins. We are a very diverse family having Italian, African American, and Hispanic blood running through different people. I lived in Houston part of my 8th grade year and have visited once since so I haven’t really had to many experience to write about. I’d like to go back and visit Cadillac Ranch and Austin.

Screenshot_2016-05-19-10-34-56

I have no idea what time of the year we went and visited my family. I’m pretty sure it was summer or close enough to it. It was so humid that I gave up trying to get my hair to do anything and just tried to tame it. I stayed with an uncle who lives in a very predominantly Hispanic neighborhood. We went to grab a bite to eat at a Mexican restaurant one night while staying with him. Now the restaraunts around where I grew up were nothing like this one. The T.V. was playing a Spanish soap opera, the waitresses spoke Spanish, and the menu was in Spanish. Considering I took 3 years of Spanish in high school you would think I would be good right? Wrong!

I couldn’t remember a single word for food except pollo meant chicken so I just made a guess and ordered something that had pollo in the name. It turned out better than I ever would have expected. After eating we went back to my uncle’s house and drank a few beers together before going to sleep early.

The next morning we woke up bright and early and I left with my uncle to go fishing while everyone else went to a beach in Galveston. I ended up catching 2 really big flounders and my uncle caught some too. We actually were wading in the Gulf of Mexico fishing in the water and not on a boat. After we packed up we headed to the beach where we met up with my mom and everyone else. I got to go out in the water for a little and layout before my aunt-in-laws kids wanted to leave. We ended up packing up and heading to a hotel to spend the night.

Before we went to the hotel though I convinced everyone to go see some a free art show that was going on.

My uncle’s wife’s family is originally from Mexico and she decided to make us homemade margaritas and guacamole. I had never liked guacamole but hers was delicious. We all stayed in the hotel drank some margaritas and ate guacamole. Once we got up in the morning we headed back to Houston with a different uncle. He took us to this place that I can’t remember the name of. It had an aquarium, games, boat rides, and other little entertainment. It wasn’t something I would normally go to because it was really touristy but, it was kind of interesting.

After we got home I was pretty exhausted but the uncle I was staying with made fresh potato salad, fresh fried shrimp, and fresh fish. It was probably the best seafood I have ever eaten. The next day we hung out with family because it was our last full day there. We went to a different uncles house and everyone got together for barbecue and Mexican food. If you aren’t able to tell my family is all about the food.

That’s really it for Texas. I know I haven’t really done much there but, I’m hoping to go back and see some unique and interesting spots before to long.

Have you ever been to Texas? Do you have some where you would recommend me to go in Texas or another state? Leave a comment below telling me about it.

Do-Gooders and Toxic Family Members

Its been awhile since I posted something new. Not because I’ve been busy on some big adventure. I’ve been going through all my things, boxing them up, and figuring out what to throw away. So, why not immediately drop back into the blogging sphere by posting a short rant.

One pet peeve of mine is getting advice from people that don’t know what’s going on in your life or why you are doing something. Or the people that tell you that you’re making a bad decision just because they don’t feel it’s the “right” thing to do. Excuse me? Have you lived my life and the experiences in it to know why I am doing something? What was that? NO? Ohhh….ok….so why are you giving me advice then?

Continue reading “Do-Gooders and Toxic Family Members”

1st Road Trip of the Summer

1st Road Trip of the Summer

Last Friday was my last day of teaching for who knows how long. So, how did I celebrate my last day of teaching, the end of my first year, and the beginning of summer vacation? By going on a road trip of course. This road trip goes along with the last post that I made and if that doesn’t help you to figure out where I went then I guess you’ll never figure it out and I’ll just have to tell you. Missouri people I went to Missouri. Sure, I had been there before but this time was a real and authentic road trip.

Continue reading “1st Road Trip of the Summer”

Missouri or Misery?

Missouri or Misery?

Missouri or Misery? Everyone that I know that has been through or lived in Missouri uses this joke and says Missouri as misery. So, what is Missouri known for….well I don’t really know what it has that people would remember it for…does St. Louis count? Although, people like to say St. Louis is in Illinois…I guess technically part of it is. Now I’ve confused myself. Let’s just move on. I’ve actually only been to Missouri twice. Once because a friend was playing a show there (another 1 of our friends went to college there) and once for a “family” vacation.

Continue reading “Missouri or Misery?”

What’s in Indiana?

What’s in Indiana?

Indiana well I’ll start this one off by saying that I’ve never been to Indianapolis and there’s really only one area I’ve been to in Indiana, Turkey Run. I think most people who live in central Illinois have road tripped it over to Indiana for some canoe and camping fun at least once in their life.

I on the other hand have gone to Indiana 8 summers in a row to canoe, kayak, camp, hike, and of course swim/get some sun. I’ve been to a couple different canoe rental places in the Turkey Run area that have their good and bad points. The first place I ever went there was Sugar Valley Canoe in Marshall, Indiana.

Continue reading “What’s in Indiana?”